I canceled my WoW subscription today.
''bout time,' some of you may be thinking. ...actually, my guess is that you don't think about that at all. And that's okay. But I do.
Due to our need for Health Insurance, I took a new job. The job is pretty cool, but now I devote twice as much time to it than I was working before. That's a pretty big change in lifestyle. My income has also changed. But I didn't know by how much, so I was little excite/apprehensive when I opened my check today.
I was elated.
'Wow,' I thought, 'I'm making about $200 a week more now! Sweet, I'll be able to pay for the kids to have food when they come.'
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks dropped from the Empire State Building with spikes laden with poison from a brown recluse:
I get paid every two weeks now.
Yep, I just took a $320 a month pay cut.
I cried.
I was so happy for a minute. Life was great.
I'm tearing up again just writing this.
Elation to despair in less than half a second.
My wife is right: This will all work out. We'll find a way to slash our already tight budget. We'll make it.
And we will. As someone recently read: Don't confuse your Provider with your employer. How true. How painfully, horribly true.
I guess it was time to update my certification in trust.
~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father
Monday, June 30, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Firefox 3
This was too important to pass up:
Firefox 3 is going to be released tomorrow. Download it June 17, 2008 and help set a world record.
Do it!
Download Firefox 3 here.
~Luke Holzmann
Firefox 3 is going to be released tomorrow. Download it June 17, 2008 and help set a world record.
Do it!
Download Firefox 3 here.
~Luke Holzmann
Friday, June 13, 2008
Shades of Awesome
Yesterday was a roller coaster.
And I don't like roller coasters. All of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, we potentially had three kids, at least one of them schooling age. The number was perfect, the gender was perfect, the ethnicity was perfect. And yet we feared to hope. It was exciting, no, thrilling, but also terrifying. And sobering. We could be the parents of a four year old in a couple of months. Whoa. Talk about a reality check.
Brittany said to me, "Wouldn't it be awesome if we got the pictures of them tonight instead of tomorrow morning?" It would be unlikely, but pretty cool.
At about 8pm Brittany asked me, as I was about to go watch another episode of Firefly with Jason, "Do you want to see some pictures of the kids?"
I would post pictures here, but I don't think I'm allowed to. Sorry. Wish I could.
We've been praying that our kids will be healthy and beautiful in all ways. The kids look really healthy. The older girl is probably 4-5, and the boy is 5-6ish. Much older than we've been thinking. The younger girl is adorable.
I've often worried, over the course of my life, that I wouldn't think my children were beautiful. I've seen some ugly kids. And what do their parents think of them, especially since everyone tells you, "You'll find your children adorable because they're yours"? I'm not sure how the logic follows. It sounds like a twisted version of "love is blind", but I digress. The point is: They lied to me.
[NB: RvB is not suitable to those who are bothered by language and inappropriate verbal content, and the above link has some language directly following the quote.]
The kids look like Russian Bouncers. It's time for brutal honesty because, as Brittany pointed out, if we don't talk about it now it will come back to "bite us in the butt" later. It's hard to tell what they really look like. The poor photography, pudgy sullen faces, the hideous short haircuts (probably to reduce lice), and ill-fitting clothes don't inspire cries of, "You are so sweet!"
And so I'm torn.
Are these our kids? Some families recognize their children right away. Others don't. And I don't really know.
There are some major pros to adopting slightly older children, but we hadn't really been considering it. And jumping into being the parents of three children, homeschooling, and dealing with kids who will very much remember their life in Kyrgyzstan and have who knows what kinds of feelings about that, having to learn a new language, and dealing with whatever got them to be available to join our family are rather daunting thoughts.
Time for a Confession of an Expecting Father: My fantasy was that my little girls would be gorgeous, adorable, more on the lithe Swedish/Iceland than stocky Russian side. And these girls may be just that, or become that way once they shed their baby fat. With hair and a smile the girls may be adorable, but I can't tell. The boy will certainly grow up to be a heartthrob.
But will I be disappointed if they aren't gorgeous? Will the girls pick up on that and develop a complex? Will I gravitate to one of the kids and so neglect the others? It sounds so shallow to say, but "I wanted pretty girls!" ...but who wants ugly kids?
Brittany has been saying frequently about how it would be "so many shades of awesome" if this or that happened. And "shades of awesome" is how I feel: This could be great, but there are some shadows that have me worried.
Sorry for the rambling thoughts and disjointed ideas. My mind doesn't feel completely sane at the moment, and my thoughts don't seem to be making a lot of sense.
I think I'm feeling a tad overwhelmed.
I wish I was more collected; writing with a point, a purpose and a lesson. But for the following days I'm afraid this blog will be more of a journal to record my thoughts for future reference than for potentially brilliant insights.
Sorry.
~Luke Holzmann
And I don't like roller coasters. All of a sudden, seemingly out of nowhere, we potentially had three kids, at least one of them schooling age. The number was perfect, the gender was perfect, the ethnicity was perfect. And yet we feared to hope. It was exciting, no, thrilling, but also terrifying. And sobering. We could be the parents of a four year old in a couple of months. Whoa. Talk about a reality check.
Brittany said to me, "Wouldn't it be awesome if we got the pictures of them tonight instead of tomorrow morning?" It would be unlikely, but pretty cool.
At about 8pm Brittany asked me, as I was about to go watch another episode of Firefly with Jason, "Do you want to see some pictures of the kids?"
I would post pictures here, but I don't think I'm allowed to. Sorry. Wish I could.
We've been praying that our kids will be healthy and beautiful in all ways. The kids look really healthy. The older girl is probably 4-5, and the boy is 5-6ish. Much older than we've been thinking. The younger girl is adorable.
I've often worried, over the course of my life, that I wouldn't think my children were beautiful. I've seen some ugly kids. And what do their parents think of them, especially since everyone tells you, "You'll find your children adorable because they're yours"? I'm not sure how the logic follows. It sounds like a twisted version of "love is blind", but I digress. The point is: They lied to me.
[NB: RvB is not suitable to those who are bothered by language and inappropriate verbal content, and the above link has some language directly following the quote.]
The kids look like Russian Bouncers. It's time for brutal honesty because, as Brittany pointed out, if we don't talk about it now it will come back to "bite us in the butt" later. It's hard to tell what they really look like. The poor photography, pudgy sullen faces, the hideous short haircuts (probably to reduce lice), and ill-fitting clothes don't inspire cries of, "You are so sweet!"
And so I'm torn.
Are these our kids? Some families recognize their children right away. Others don't. And I don't really know.
There are some major pros to adopting slightly older children, but we hadn't really been considering it. And jumping into being the parents of three children, homeschooling, and dealing with kids who will very much remember their life in Kyrgyzstan and have who knows what kinds of feelings about that, having to learn a new language, and dealing with whatever got them to be available to join our family are rather daunting thoughts.
Time for a Confession of an Expecting Father: My fantasy was that my little girls would be gorgeous, adorable, more on the lithe Swedish/Iceland than stocky Russian side. And these girls may be just that, or become that way once they shed their baby fat. With hair and a smile the girls may be adorable, but I can't tell. The boy will certainly grow up to be a heartthrob.
But will I be disappointed if they aren't gorgeous? Will the girls pick up on that and develop a complex? Will I gravitate to one of the kids and so neglect the others? It sounds so shallow to say, but "I wanted pretty girls!" ...but who wants ugly kids?
Brittany has been saying frequently about how it would be "so many shades of awesome" if this or that happened. And "shades of awesome" is how I feel: This could be great, but there are some shadows that have me worried.
Sorry for the rambling thoughts and disjointed ideas. My mind doesn't feel completely sane at the moment, and my thoughts don't seem to be making a lot of sense.
I think I'm feeling a tad overwhelmed.
I wish I was more collected; writing with a point, a purpose and a lesson. But for the following days I'm afraid this blog will be more of a journal to record my thoughts for future reference than for potentially brilliant insights.
Sorry.
~Luke Holzmann
Thursday, June 12, 2008
The News
Brittany called me at about 8:50 this morning at work.
"Guess what."
She got a call from the adoption agency.
"How many were you looking to adopt?"
Brittany replied, "We're looking at up to three."
"You're not going to believe this..."
Turns out that a sibling group of three just became available. They are a little older than we have been thinking, but if these are our kids, then great! What's more: There are two girls and a boy. And they look "very Russian". In a country that is 80% Asian, the 3-5 year-old girl has blue eyes.
We're supposed to get pictures tomorrow.
Thrilled and Terrified
"Guess what."
She got a call from the adoption agency.
"How many were you looking to adopt?"
Brittany replied, "We're looking at up to three."
"You're not going to believe this..."
Turns out that a sibling group of three just became available. They are a little older than we have been thinking, but if these are our kids, then great! What's more: There are two girls and a boy. And they look "very Russian". In a country that is 80% Asian, the 3-5 year-old girl has blue eyes.
We're supposed to get pictures tomorrow.
Thrilled and Terrified
And I was supposed to work after that.
What's crazy is that we are getting a referral, of sorts, and we haven't even completed the paperwork for the US yet. So there are still a ton of things that need to come together. I need to get hired at a company that will give me health insurance (have to have that before we can move forward), we need to complete the Dossier, and then we're really moving.
Over the past two weeks, I've been really stressed out, frustrated, and even a little depressed because I've been stuck at health insurance. We were flying through the process right into a brick wall.
Health Insurance
So yesterday I felt like I couldn't do anything, like I was completely stuck until the health insurance worked out.
Today proved that wrong. I could do something. I could get excited.
~Luke Holzmann
Monday, April 21, 2008
Alfie, Marriage, and Hope
I watched "Alfie" not that long ago. It's an interesting, off-beat dark comedy that is sort of about the pitfalls of womanizing, but also sort of about how womanizing, while leading to pain, leads to about the same amount of pain that life already dishes out, so what's the big deal? Or, as the movie concludes, "So, what's the answer? That's what I keep asking myself. What's it all about? You know what I mean?"
Fin.
So, far more than a morality play, this is a film that takes a look at morality and concludes: I don't get it, but I think there's something there.
If RottenTomatoes.com is any indication, about 48% have the same query. And I, unfortunately, sort of side with the minority. I do kinda know what he means.
It was the line "whenever you meet a beautiful woman ...just remember, somewhere there's a bloke who's sick of shagging her" that really got me. It's reminiscent of the paragraph from (I think) "Every Young Man's Battle" that goes something like: Satan will do everything he can to get you to sleep with your girlfriend before marriage, and then everything he can to stop you from sleeping with your wife after you're married.
Am I sick of "shagging" my wife? No. But it's certainly not as fun or as common to "mess around" as it was back in college. I've already written about this in the book, so this isn't anything new or surprising. But I'm feeling the implications of this idea play out more forcefully of late.
Jason, my co-author, has moved out from Oregon. It's really cool that he's here. We sit and chat, watch movies and TV shows on DVD, and generally hang out. I hope that we can really get moving on the book once he's settled. But his outside perspective allows him to see the... lack... that is in my interactions with Brittany. It's the same lack (or whatever word makes more sense there) that I can see in the relationships of the kids I mentor.
It's easy to look at a situation and say, "You really handled that poorly," or, "You really need to talk with her about that." But I find myself holding back, wary. Why? Because I know what it's like to not feel like talking, to just want to be left alone, to feel that someone is being clingy, stand-offish, whiny, bossy, nosy, annoying, or whatnot. I know how past experience influences current conduct.
But I also know how easy it is to look at another girl (one to whom you are not bound forever by "the Ring", or otherwise) and think, 'Man, he really doesn't see what he's got. If he'd just notice how much she loves him, how cute she is, and how much she just wants to be close to him, he'd want to hold her as much as I do.'
"So, what's the answer? ...What's it all about? You know what I mean?"
This is something that, even though a few people write about it, no one has yet to come to any conclusion or even good solid advice. This is a very clear example of what Jason so aptly points out: We've got this idea that if we could just get them to the altar virgins everything will be okay. But there's so much more....
He's right. He's right and he's not even married.
I know this whole "marriage thing" works, is great, and all that. I know there's hope. It would just be nice to have someone, somewhere, actually point to it in a viable, livable, sensible, reasonable way. Hopefully our book will include such insights by the end of the next draft, but until then, I feel like I'm fighting this ideological battle alone.
It's hard to be hopeful there.
~Luke Holzmann
Fin.
So, far more than a morality play, this is a film that takes a look at morality and concludes: I don't get it, but I think there's something there.
If RottenTomatoes.com is any indication, about 48% have the same query. And I, unfortunately, sort of side with the minority. I do kinda know what he means.
It was the line "whenever you meet a beautiful woman ...just remember, somewhere there's a bloke who's sick of shagging her" that really got me. It's reminiscent of the paragraph from (I think) "Every Young Man's Battle" that goes something like: Satan will do everything he can to get you to sleep with your girlfriend before marriage, and then everything he can to stop you from sleeping with your wife after you're married.
Am I sick of "shagging" my wife? No. But it's certainly not as fun or as common to "mess around" as it was back in college. I've already written about this in the book, so this isn't anything new or surprising. But I'm feeling the implications of this idea play out more forcefully of late.
Jason, my co-author, has moved out from Oregon. It's really cool that he's here. We sit and chat, watch movies and TV shows on DVD, and generally hang out. I hope that we can really get moving on the book once he's settled. But his outside perspective allows him to see the... lack... that is in my interactions with Brittany. It's the same lack (or whatever word makes more sense there) that I can see in the relationships of the kids I mentor.
It's easy to look at a situation and say, "You really handled that poorly," or, "You really need to talk with her about that." But I find myself holding back, wary. Why? Because I know what it's like to not feel like talking, to just want to be left alone, to feel that someone is being clingy, stand-offish, whiny, bossy, nosy, annoying, or whatnot. I know how past experience influences current conduct.
But I also know how easy it is to look at another girl (one to whom you are not bound forever by "the Ring", or otherwise) and think, 'Man, he really doesn't see what he's got. If he'd just notice how much she loves him, how cute she is, and how much she just wants to be close to him, he'd want to hold her as much as I do.'
"So, what's the answer? ...What's it all about? You know what I mean?"
This is something that, even though a few people write about it, no one has yet to come to any conclusion or even good solid advice. This is a very clear example of what Jason so aptly points out: We've got this idea that if we could just get them to the altar virgins everything will be okay. But there's so much more....
He's right. He's right and he's not even married.
I know this whole "marriage thing" works, is great, and all that. I know there's hope. It would just be nice to have someone, somewhere, actually point to it in a viable, livable, sensible, reasonable way. Hopefully our book will include such insights by the end of the next draft, but until then, I feel like I'm fighting this ideological battle alone.
It's hard to be hopeful there.
~Luke Holzmann
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Taco Bell, V-Day, and Flash
For those of you who went to some less romantic locale for dinner on V-Day, you probably missed out on their purple sauce packs.
DirectDaniella.com
When we got home, my wife and I decided to check out this website and see what it was all about. Visiting the site gave me flashbacks to Carl's Jr's stunt with SI a while back. (I am not a Paris Hilton fan at all. Though she looked good in an interview I saw in a burger joint in Florence.)
Paris in Shanghai
Where was I?
Oh, right. DirectDaniella.com.
If you haven't linked over to the site already, it is a very cleaver use of Flash. They shot footage of one of the swimsuit models (Daniella), placed that within a website that allowed you to "take pictures" within the cheesy storyline's confined timeline, and then let you save these images (in theory, I haven't gotten it to work, hence none of my "work" posted here).
All in all, it's pretty fun. Nothing to "write home about", but obviously enough to blog about.
But this post is about more than just the fast food industry's latest attempt to use sex to sell their greasy grub (which I love, by the by). This is about the trend to use Flash as the foundation for all sorts of new creative applications online. I've now created an editing tutorial over at Production-Now.com using the power of JumpCut, which is built on Flash. This is not to mention YouTube, Homestarrunner, and many other sites that are built on Adobe's acquired technology.
Cool stuff.
~Luke Holzmann
DirectDaniella.com
When we got home, my wife and I decided to check out this website and see what it was all about. Visiting the site gave me flashbacks to Carl's Jr's stunt with SI a while back. (I am not a Paris Hilton fan at all. Though she looked good in an interview I saw in a burger joint in Florence.)
Paris in Shanghai
Where was I?
Oh, right. DirectDaniella.com.
If you haven't linked over to the site already, it is a very cleaver use of Flash. They shot footage of one of the swimsuit models (Daniella), placed that within a website that allowed you to "take pictures" within the cheesy storyline's confined timeline, and then let you save these images (in theory, I haven't gotten it to work, hence none of my "work" posted here).
All in all, it's pretty fun. Nothing to "write home about", but obviously enough to blog about.
But this post is about more than just the fast food industry's latest attempt to use sex to sell their greasy grub (which I love, by the by). This is about the trend to use Flash as the foundation for all sorts of new creative applications online. I've now created an editing tutorial over at Production-Now.com using the power of JumpCut, which is built on Flash. This is not to mention YouTube, Homestarrunner, and many other sites that are built on Adobe's acquired technology.
Cool stuff.
~Luke Holzmann
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Honk if You're Perfect
The following came from the Sonlight Curriculum Forums:
That's how I feel right now. Can't really explain it any better than that.
~Luke Holzmann
I recently heard this on the local Christian radio station.
They have a "Call-in Confessional" show. One man called in and said that he was driving his wife's car to work. All of the sudden, a car behind him started laying on the horn. He looked back, and the guy just kept honking. The guy kept getting angrier and angrier. He knew it wasn't a Christian thing to do, but as the guy passed him, he gave the other driver the finger.
Still upset, the guy got home and parked his car. As he turned around to make sure he locked it, he saw his wife had a bumper sticker that said, "Honk if you love Jesus!"
That's how I feel right now. Can't really explain it any better than that.
~Luke Holzmann
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Nature Abhors
Guess what Brittany and I spent two hours today doing?
Yep. Wandering Sears looking at vacuums. The sales people push the Dyson, Brittany loved the Halo, and I didn't like any of them. So, we bought a $50 Dirt Devil until the Halo has been proven and we've ended up in a bit more money to warrant a $500 carpet sucker.
But, yes: Two hours. And we spent a couple of hours back in December when we first went to try to purchase a vacuum. So, in all, we spent about four hours in Sears discussing vacuums. It was ridiculous, but it wasn't until we were driving home that the comedic nature of our adventure really hit us.
Ah, the amazingly romantic and exciting life of marriage.
I guess all that to say: If you don't like wandering around Home Depot with your significant other, perhaps it's not time for marriage. As one of the speakers in Chapel so aptly pointed out: You'll spend more time waiting in line in the grocery store than you will having sex.
That, or in Sears discussing vacuums.
~Luke Holzmann
Yep. Wandering Sears looking at vacuums. The sales people push the Dyson, Brittany loved the Halo, and I didn't like any of them. So, we bought a $50 Dirt Devil until the Halo has been proven and we've ended up in a bit more money to warrant a $500 carpet sucker.
But, yes: Two hours. And we spent a couple of hours back in December when we first went to try to purchase a vacuum. So, in all, we spent about four hours in Sears discussing vacuums. It was ridiculous, but it wasn't until we were driving home that the comedic nature of our adventure really hit us.
Ah, the amazingly romantic and exciting life of marriage.
I guess all that to say: If you don't like wandering around Home Depot with your significant other, perhaps it's not time for marriage. As one of the speakers in Chapel so aptly pointed out: You'll spend more time waiting in line in the grocery store than you will having sex.
That, or in Sears discussing vacuums.
~Luke Holzmann
Monday, January 28, 2008
Lego Love (Part 2)
Friday, January 25, 2008
MySpace Blogs (huh?)
So, browsing through some of my friends' MySpace pages I came across the following while trying to read their interesting titled blog posts:
"This specific blog entry is currently set to be private, and only the blog owner can see it."
I've seen this before. Granted, I can see why people may decide it was better to lock up a blog post titled "Why I'm so mad at my girlfriend" or "I think your granny is hot" or "I wish I were dead"... but, why keep it as a blog post? Are people really incapable of keeping a journal somewhere that isn't plastered all over the internet with nothing more than a "Umm, yeah, the author thought better of posting this to the world"?
Odd.
~Luke Holzmann
"This specific blog entry is currently set to be private, and only the blog owner can see it."
I've seen this before. Granted, I can see why people may decide it was better to lock up a blog post titled "Why I'm so mad at my girlfriend" or "I think your granny is hot" or "I wish I were dead"... but, why keep it as a blog post? Are people really incapable of keeping a journal somewhere that isn't plastered all over the internet with nothing more than a "Umm, yeah, the author thought better of posting this to the world"?
Odd.
~Luke Holzmann
Lego Love
I have loved Legos since I can remember. My very first, to my recollection, Lego set was of a spacecraft. It was awesome.
Well, my wife and I decided on a Christmas tradition where we ask for a Lego set every year (Star Wars themed, naturally).
We got a way cool set, but one of the pieces came defective. I had heard from my sister how great Lego was with Customer Service, so I decided to test it out myself. I filled out a form on Lego.com and requested a replacement.
The package arrived yesterday (but I didn't have my camera, hence the post today).
"Time Sensitive Material"? Hardly, but that's one way to make me feel special.
Not only did we get the piece, but we also got a great cover letter.
In short: I love Lego even more now!
Businesses everywhere should emulate this level of customer service. Stellar!
~Luke Holzmann
Well, my wife and I decided on a Christmas tradition where we ask for a Lego set every year (Star Wars themed, naturally).
We got a way cool set, but one of the pieces came defective. I had heard from my sister how great Lego was with Customer Service, so I decided to test it out myself. I filled out a form on Lego.com and requested a replacement.
The package arrived yesterday (but I didn't have my camera, hence the post today).
"Time Sensitive Material"? Hardly, but that's one way to make me feel special.
Not only did we get the piece, but we also got a great cover letter.
In short: I love Lego even more now!
Businesses everywhere should emulate this level of customer service. Stellar!
~Luke Holzmann
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sanctity of Life... or Not
So, it's officially "Sanctity of Human Life Week" and people are naturally talking, ranting, raving, and trying to get people to become Pro-Choice: Choose Life.
Now, to make sure that everyone reading knows where I come from: I am Pro-Life, against abortion, and am convinced that abortion is murder. However, to argue against abortion from the standpoint of the "sanctity of life" is absurd.
The following is the argumentation for the sanctity of life presented by Charles Swindoll and his book Sanctity of Life: The Inescapable Issue. Since Chuck is a well respected speaker/thinker of modern Christianity (and I respect him and his work a lot), I'm pretty sure he's got it worked out as well as anyone.
All of those statements are good and true. This is certainly solid examples of the importance and precious nature of human life. This is also a very solid argument against abortion for anyone who believes the Bible to be at least a good standard for morality.
However, this is not argument enough for me to believe that there is a sanctity to life that makes life to the most important thing. There are far too many examples in Scripture where God tells people to kill (totally annihilate; read: genocide) other peoples, or merely knocks off someone Himself, to hold to a view that "God thinks human life is so sacred that is must not be killed". Does this mean that murder is okay? Clearly not. Does this mean that I think it is good to kill off people? Absolutely not! But there is reason for rejecting murder that is much better than claiming life is too holy to kill because God, the expert on holiness, doesn't even buy that.
So what is the argument that should stand?
Love.
We are called to love people, even our enemies, and killing them would go against that. This is oddly appropriate for the subject of abortion since the stats I see say that roughly 93% of abortions are due to reasons that the baby is "unwanted or inconvenient". Guess what? Even if your baby is an "enemy" to your lifestyle, tough. You're supposed to love this child enough to get over that.
But what's interesting about that statistic site is that 18% of all abortions are performed on women who identify themselves as "Born-again/Evangelical". Why is that? My guess: A lack of love.
I can easily see how "Good Christian girls" who get pregnant will not feel the support they need to carry the baby to term. Perhaps they get strong vibes against their pregnancy and their baby. Perhaps they are just too ashamed to show that they sinful. Perhaps they are scared that the Christians around them will judge them, or worse (a very likely scenario).
So, what does this world need now? "Love, sweet love." If Christians were more loving, we would likely see a substantial number of abortions from our community drop off. Our love would also get into the rest of our communities which would inspire expecting mothers to love their yet to be born children as well.
So, let's stop talking non-sense and trying to use some kind of "moral highway" or "principle" to sway people to choose life. Instead, let us love one another, call others to such a way of life as well. Because, without love (or law) it will be impossible to convince people that life is sacred.
~Luke Holzmann
Ps. It may be argued that since "sanctity" could be defined as "set apart for God" that He could do what He wants with life, but we must not touch it. This is a decent etymological argument, but not enough to convince me of the sanctity of life.
Pps. What of those wondering how a loving God could kill people? That is an issue that is too big to deal with at this moment, so I leave it to your study and perhaps a later post.
Now, to make sure that everyone reading knows where I come from: I am Pro-Life, against abortion, and am convinced that abortion is murder. However, to argue against abortion from the standpoint of the "sanctity of life" is absurd.
The following is the argumentation for the sanctity of life presented by Charles Swindoll and his book Sanctity of Life: The Inescapable Issue. Since Chuck is a well respected speaker/thinker of modern Christianity (and I respect him and his work a lot), I'm pretty sure he's got it worked out as well as anyone.
First: God sets apart human life as unique and valuable since it bears His image. Second: Because this is true, God commands that all human life be preserved and protected. Third: Human life begins within the womb, where God personally and sovereignly superintends the development and maturation of the fetus before birth. Fourth: Therefore, since it is God's will that every child's life be protected after birth, it is certainly His will that such protection apply to the child in his or her prenatal state.
All of those statements are good and true. This is certainly solid examples of the importance and precious nature of human life. This is also a very solid argument against abortion for anyone who believes the Bible to be at least a good standard for morality.
However, this is not argument enough for me to believe that there is a sanctity to life that makes life to the most important thing. There are far too many examples in Scripture where God tells people to kill (totally annihilate; read: genocide) other peoples, or merely knocks off someone Himself, to hold to a view that "God thinks human life is so sacred that is must not be killed". Does this mean that murder is okay? Clearly not. Does this mean that I think it is good to kill off people? Absolutely not! But there is reason for rejecting murder that is much better than claiming life is too holy to kill because God, the expert on holiness, doesn't even buy that.
So what is the argument that should stand?
Love.
We are called to love people, even our enemies, and killing them would go against that. This is oddly appropriate for the subject of abortion since the stats I see say that roughly 93% of abortions are due to reasons that the baby is "unwanted or inconvenient". Guess what? Even if your baby is an "enemy" to your lifestyle, tough. You're supposed to love this child enough to get over that.
But what's interesting about that statistic site is that 18% of all abortions are performed on women who identify themselves as "Born-again/Evangelical". Why is that? My guess: A lack of love.
I can easily see how "Good Christian girls" who get pregnant will not feel the support they need to carry the baby to term. Perhaps they get strong vibes against their pregnancy and their baby. Perhaps they are just too ashamed to show that they sinful. Perhaps they are scared that the Christians around them will judge them, or worse (a very likely scenario).
So, what does this world need now? "Love, sweet love." If Christians were more loving, we would likely see a substantial number of abortions from our community drop off. Our love would also get into the rest of our communities which would inspire expecting mothers to love their yet to be born children as well.
So, let's stop talking non-sense and trying to use some kind of "moral highway" or "principle" to sway people to choose life. Instead, let us love one another, call others to such a way of life as well. Because, without love (or law) it will be impossible to convince people that life is sacred.
~Luke Holzmann
Ps. It may be argued that since "sanctity" could be defined as "set apart for God" that He could do what He wants with life, but we must not touch it. This is a decent etymological argument, but not enough to convince me of the sanctity of life.
Pps. What of those wondering how a loving God could kill people? That is an issue that is too big to deal with at this moment, so I leave it to your study and perhaps a later post.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Fortune Cookies Are Right
...sort of.
I was in a meeting last night with some very smart people who also happen to make a lot of money. Because I would love to become smarter and make more money so I can do cool things, I was very disappointed when the leader spouted off several statements that were little better, if not worse, than some of the things we had read in our fortune cookies over dinner.
First, allow me to touch on a point that I think very much is true and came to mind during the meeting: "Stewardship" has allowed Christians to tip very poorly. If you, or anyone you know, has ever worked waiting tables, you know that Christians--especially in large "fellowshipping" groups on Sunday--leave terrible tips... if that much. This has long been a misery and mystery to the people serving food on Sundays. I've wondered about it as well, knowing that I too would tend to not tip. "Stewardship" (taking care of what one has) is a likely culprit (and the fact that we are greedy and don't trust God to provide but consider that's okay because at least we aren't sleeping around). Since we are told over and over to be good stewards of our resources, we have justified our stinginess. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some people didn't tithe because they were trying to be a "better steward" of their money. But now I'm way off topic.
Fortune cookies.
It is quite possible to make a statement or prediction almost universally true if it is generic enough. For instance:
I just pulled that off the first horoscope page I found. Wow! That's me... almost. I love all the wishy-washy phrases: "may find" "can be" "it is likely" "can lead" "but may also". Obviously tailored to my exact experience. Most of the time these kinds of statements are true because you make them true.
So, what do you think about the following, given that you have belief structure that assumes God created everything and saved your soul:
Which of the following is the question we should answer:
Obviously, we were told, it is 3, but "sadly" we all act like it is 2. Sounds good, right? Yes, but it's about as true as my horoscope.
Granted, God is in control of everything and everything is His. However, the reason we ask question 2 instead of 3 is not because we feel like we'd do a better job than God, but because we do not have a "prime directive" of what we are supposed to do with God's money. Thus, we ask: What should I do with it? Let us not become confused.
At the end of the meeting I asked what I should do if I felt like I knew what I was supposed to be doing, but that it didn't make any money. I was told that if I had talent, passion, and God's purpose behind me it would make money. When I challenged this idea, I was told that perhaps it "wasn't time yet" and God was still working on me before He'd pour out the floodgates of Heaven.
Perhaps.
Perhaps not. How would we know? It's a fortune cookie statement. I could make it true, or I could reject it like the half-butted comment that it is. There's not truth in that statement, just what truth I impart to it. Since I'm hardly the standard for what is true, let's not trust me.
How many good things, with talent, passion, and God's purpose behind them struggle? Many. Most? I'm not sure, but it certainly isn't only a handful. Too many ministries are constantly scraping by and calling for more funds for the advice I was given to be true.
Which leads to the last untruth: God has blessed our family with much wealth because He looked into our lives and saw that we could do great things for His Kingdom.
It's true as long as you only look at the self-serving bits. Do my parents do great things for God's Kingdom? Definitely. Did God give them their wealth that has allowed them to do this? Certainly. Does that mean that God gives money (and remember that He owns everything, so has everything to give) to certain individuals because He saw what a great impact that could have on people if He did? No. There are far too many rich jerks in the world for that to be "the reason" God blesses some people with wealth.
The world isn't as simple as we'd like it to be. Does that mean I'm against reading my fortune cookies? No. But it does mean that when I read them I smile because the wisdom therein is imputed from me.
Well, I've got to go shower quickly because I'll be a little late for work.
~Luke Holzmann
I was in a meeting last night with some very smart people who also happen to make a lot of money. Because I would love to become smarter and make more money so I can do cool things, I was very disappointed when the leader spouted off several statements that were little better, if not worse, than some of the things we had read in our fortune cookies over dinner.
First, allow me to touch on a point that I think very much is true and came to mind during the meeting: "Stewardship" has allowed Christians to tip very poorly. If you, or anyone you know, has ever worked waiting tables, you know that Christians--especially in large "fellowshipping" groups on Sunday--leave terrible tips... if that much. This has long been a misery and mystery to the people serving food on Sundays. I've wondered about it as well, knowing that I too would tend to not tip. "Stewardship" (taking care of what one has) is a likely culprit (and the fact that we are greedy and don't trust God to provide but consider that's okay because at least we aren't sleeping around). Since we are told over and over to be good stewards of our resources, we have justified our stinginess. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if some people didn't tithe because they were trying to be a "better steward" of their money. But now I'm way off topic.
Fortune cookies.
It is quite possible to make a statement or prediction almost universally true if it is generic enough. For instance:
You have a strong need to take your thoughts in your own direction and may find it difficult to compromise. Originality is favored here, but dealing with routine activities can be a bit of a challenge. This is a dynamic period in which nothing seems to be standing still, especially you. Even if you are calm on the outside, it is likely that your insides will be jumping around. This restlessness can lead to hasty actions but may also motivate you to make some changes in your daily life.
I just pulled that off the first horoscope page I found. Wow! That's me... almost. I love all the wishy-washy phrases: "may find" "can be" "it is likely" "can lead" "but may also". Obviously tailored to my exact experience. Most of the time these kinds of statements are true because you make them true.
So, what do you think about the following, given that you have belief structure that assumes God created everything and saved your soul:
Which of the following is the question we should answer:
1. What should I do with my money? 2. What should I do with God's money? 3. What does God want me to do with His money?
Obviously, we were told, it is 3, but "sadly" we all act like it is 2. Sounds good, right? Yes, but it's about as true as my horoscope.
Granted, God is in control of everything and everything is His. However, the reason we ask question 2 instead of 3 is not because we feel like we'd do a better job than God, but because we do not have a "prime directive" of what we are supposed to do with God's money. Thus, we ask: What should I do with it? Let us not become confused.
At the end of the meeting I asked what I should do if I felt like I knew what I was supposed to be doing, but that it didn't make any money. I was told that if I had talent, passion, and God's purpose behind me it would make money. When I challenged this idea, I was told that perhaps it "wasn't time yet" and God was still working on me before He'd pour out the floodgates of Heaven.
Perhaps.
Perhaps not. How would we know? It's a fortune cookie statement. I could make it true, or I could reject it like the half-butted comment that it is. There's not truth in that statement, just what truth I impart to it. Since I'm hardly the standard for what is true, let's not trust me.
How many good things, with talent, passion, and God's purpose behind them struggle? Many. Most? I'm not sure, but it certainly isn't only a handful. Too many ministries are constantly scraping by and calling for more funds for the advice I was given to be true.
Which leads to the last untruth: God has blessed our family with much wealth because He looked into our lives and saw that we could do great things for His Kingdom.
It's true as long as you only look at the self-serving bits. Do my parents do great things for God's Kingdom? Definitely. Did God give them their wealth that has allowed them to do this? Certainly. Does that mean that God gives money (and remember that He owns everything, so has everything to give) to certain individuals because He saw what a great impact that could have on people if He did? No. There are far too many rich jerks in the world for that to be "the reason" God blesses some people with wealth.
The world isn't as simple as we'd like it to be. Does that mean I'm against reading my fortune cookies? No. But it does mean that when I read them I smile because the wisdom therein is imputed from me.
Well, I've got to go shower quickly because I'll be a little late for work.
~Luke Holzmann
Sunday, December 30, 2007
A Free Simpleology Course
In order to check out this new course on blogging, Simpleology requires that I post the following:
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I've been going through a ton of material about blogging recently (when I have time outside of filming), so this fits right in with that. I will see how cool it is after they send me the stuff now that I've posted this.
But for now, it's bedtime because shooting starts again tomorrow morning.
~Luke Holzmann
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I'm evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they're letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.
It covers:
- The best blogging techniques.
- How to get traffic to your blog.
- How to turn your blog into money.
I'll let you know what I think once I've had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it's still free.
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I've been going through a ton of material about blogging recently (when I have time outside of filming), so this fits right in with that. I will see how cool it is after they send me the stuff now that I've posted this.
But for now, it's bedtime because shooting starts again tomorrow morning.
~Luke Holzmann
Saturday, December 29, 2007
The Media and Messages
Last week I heard a statement of a sentiment that is oft repeated: "The World" "sends you messages" about what will "make you happy" or "this is how you should live". This kind of talk is rampant throughout "religiondom" and is the motivating force for much of Christian media. "We must counteract this affront to our worldview and morals" the concerned religious say. "We have to get our message out there because otherwise people will just believe Hollywood--or whatever media they see as the bad guys".
Michael Medved has built a career on this kind of thinking. I've seen his stuff and it's well done, compelling, and makes you think. He talks about how Hollywood has an anti-Christian "agenda" and then sites many movies where this is the case. He also points out that "Hollywood" produces a majority of R-rated movies every year, even though those are not the ones that turn the biggest profit. He considers this evidence that "Hollywood" is not in the entertainment business but in the business of attacking solid morals.
With that as the foundation, let's start to break this down.
1. The World/Hollywood does not "have an agenda". People in the world and Hollywood have agendas, and certain films have agendas as well. But there is no overarching flood of anti-Christian/religion material out there. In Medved's documentary that I saw, he pulled his "anti-Christian" clip examples from movies I've never seen or heard of people who had. This is an important point to keep in the back your mind for when I come back to it later.
2. I can't, off the top of my head, think of a single film that had an anti-Christian message. In fact, all the great movies have messages that tend to be very positive. "Truman Show", "Citizen Kain", "The Princess Bride" all have very positive messages about life, happiness, and even some aspects of morality. But as for specific messages about what happiness is or how you should live, there is very little. Instead, films at most show a person who is happy or living well, and viewers decide if that makes sense or not. There is not preaching on the subject of living life.
Even movies like "Saved!" that bash religion merely demonstrate the problems with the institution and many of the people who profess faith. I wouldn't consider a single person in that movie to be acting Christ-like. It is unfortunate that they don't have someone who is Christ-like, but it doesn't surprise me. How many people do you know who act like Christ? I know precious few and am all too aware of how little I emulate Him myself.
3. While watching a documentary on "Basic Instinct" (yes, that movie with sex, nudity, and more sex) I was blown away when a "gay rights" activist started to decry Hollywood's "anti-Homosexual agenda". 'What?' I thought. 'Hollywood is anti-homosexual? Where do they get that?' In fact, from what I've heard from the religious around me, Hollywood has a very strong pro-homosexual agenda. What was going on?
Turns out that religious people aren't the only ones who feel attacked by the media. In fact, you can feel attacked by just about anything. A few days ago I heard about a complaint from a guy because someone wanted to include the image of a Confederate Flag in a video. He made it very clear that there is still too much racial discrimination to show such a throwback to slavery. It doesn't matter that the Civil War wasn't about slavery (however, slavery became a huge theme, and has been made even more prominent by us "Northern Folk" since we won) or that the Confederate Flag for the video was poking fun at country singers. Just because people can get themselves offended does not mean that something is offensive. To be fair, if people are getting offended, there is need for tact and courtesy, which all of us (including Hollywood) lack from time to time.
4. But what about the fact that so many movies are rated "R" and films like "Brokeback Mountain"?
I watch a lot of R-rated movies because most of them are about subjects that are actually interesting. Filmmakers want to shoot movies that mean something and comment on life. They allow us to experience life in a way that we normally do not see. We can then ask questions of our views, ideas, and ourselves as to how we would hope to respond to such situations. And for all the talk about "Brokeback Mountain", did you see it? I did, and it wasn't anything to talk about. A bunch of sweeping landscapes, a homosexual sex scene, and then a movie exploring the themes of love (not even homosexual love) with two characters that are terrible at loving... if you draw that much from it.
What does all this mean?
First, Christians make media for the wrong reason. Our films are terrible because we are making movies in response to something Hollywood isn't doing. We want to preach because we believe that Hollywood is preaching. Hollywood is telling stories well. It turns out that stories seem to be the best way to pass on values for a couple of reasons. Stories show life and how it works, what is good and what is not good to do, and what works. Instead of showing how Christianity works better than any other approach to life, we make movies like "Facing the Giants" where we spout out truisms and preach messages instead of telling a story from life. Now, unfortunately, when we actually do try to tell a real story it seems fake because we have lost our credibility and no one believes we're for real. If you want evidence that this is true of all media, when someone in Hollywood tries to preach they make a flop... or get a Nobel Peace Prize. The great movies that stand the test of time tell stories, they don't preach.
Second, we need to stop demonizing the media. We give them far too much power. I've heard over and over again that parents don't let their kids watch something (like, "The Simpsons") because it's "evil". It's not evil. Not even close. Sure, it may not be the best thing in the world, especially if you're not into that style of humor, but most Bible study and Sunday School materials are worse from a literature standpoint and contain less truth. The ideas and criticisms in the world today aimed at Christianity are widespread. The media may make the points more cohesive and pointed, but the critiques are the same as they were a couple thousand years ago. These issues are not hard to overcome, and the ones that are must be considered if we hope to keep the faith of the intellectual.
Third, it's time for some new stories. I've been asked before what Christians can do to turn the tide of the media and make movies that change people for the better (because movies can do that). I reply with the reminder that good movies are good stories told well. What contemporary story demonstrates the validity and power of living a Christ-like life? I don't know of a single one. Christianity must become life changing for us as Christians if we hope to change anyone with a film we make.
There is hope, though. The power of movies like "300" comes from a tale from long ago. We have tales like that as well. We could use someone with the gonads to make an incredibly awesome movie of David's Mighty Men; just, please, if you do, don't title it "30"... I've had enough of Christianity trying to take the creativity of others and just putting a Christian label on that. We're better than that.
At least, we should be.
~Luke Holzmann
Michael Medved has built a career on this kind of thinking. I've seen his stuff and it's well done, compelling, and makes you think. He talks about how Hollywood has an anti-Christian "agenda" and then sites many movies where this is the case. He also points out that "Hollywood" produces a majority of R-rated movies every year, even though those are not the ones that turn the biggest profit. He considers this evidence that "Hollywood" is not in the entertainment business but in the business of attacking solid morals.
With that as the foundation, let's start to break this down.
1. The World/Hollywood does not "have an agenda". People in the world and Hollywood have agendas, and certain films have agendas as well. But there is no overarching flood of anti-Christian/religion material out there. In Medved's documentary that I saw, he pulled his "anti-Christian" clip examples from movies I've never seen or heard of people who had. This is an important point to keep in the back your mind for when I come back to it later.
2. I can't, off the top of my head, think of a single film that had an anti-Christian message. In fact, all the great movies have messages that tend to be very positive. "Truman Show", "Citizen Kain", "The Princess Bride" all have very positive messages about life, happiness, and even some aspects of morality. But as for specific messages about what happiness is or how you should live, there is very little. Instead, films at most show a person who is happy or living well, and viewers decide if that makes sense or not. There is not preaching on the subject of living life.
Even movies like "Saved!" that bash religion merely demonstrate the problems with the institution and many of the people who profess faith. I wouldn't consider a single person in that movie to be acting Christ-like. It is unfortunate that they don't have someone who is Christ-like, but it doesn't surprise me. How many people do you know who act like Christ? I know precious few and am all too aware of how little I emulate Him myself.
3. While watching a documentary on "Basic Instinct" (yes, that movie with sex, nudity, and more sex) I was blown away when a "gay rights" activist started to decry Hollywood's "anti-Homosexual agenda". 'What?' I thought. 'Hollywood is anti-homosexual? Where do they get that?' In fact, from what I've heard from the religious around me, Hollywood has a very strong pro-homosexual agenda. What was going on?
Turns out that religious people aren't the only ones who feel attacked by the media. In fact, you can feel attacked by just about anything. A few days ago I heard about a complaint from a guy because someone wanted to include the image of a Confederate Flag in a video. He made it very clear that there is still too much racial discrimination to show such a throwback to slavery. It doesn't matter that the Civil War wasn't about slavery (however, slavery became a huge theme, and has been made even more prominent by us "Northern Folk" since we won) or that the Confederate Flag for the video was poking fun at country singers. Just because people can get themselves offended does not mean that something is offensive. To be fair, if people are getting offended, there is need for tact and courtesy, which all of us (including Hollywood) lack from time to time.
4. But what about the fact that so many movies are rated "R" and films like "Brokeback Mountain"?
I watch a lot of R-rated movies because most of them are about subjects that are actually interesting. Filmmakers want to shoot movies that mean something and comment on life. They allow us to experience life in a way that we normally do not see. We can then ask questions of our views, ideas, and ourselves as to how we would hope to respond to such situations. And for all the talk about "Brokeback Mountain", did you see it? I did, and it wasn't anything to talk about. A bunch of sweeping landscapes, a homosexual sex scene, and then a movie exploring the themes of love (not even homosexual love) with two characters that are terrible at loving... if you draw that much from it.
What does all this mean?
First, Christians make media for the wrong reason. Our films are terrible because we are making movies in response to something Hollywood isn't doing. We want to preach because we believe that Hollywood is preaching. Hollywood is telling stories well. It turns out that stories seem to be the best way to pass on values for a couple of reasons. Stories show life and how it works, what is good and what is not good to do, and what works. Instead of showing how Christianity works better than any other approach to life, we make movies like "Facing the Giants" where we spout out truisms and preach messages instead of telling a story from life. Now, unfortunately, when we actually do try to tell a real story it seems fake because we have lost our credibility and no one believes we're for real. If you want evidence that this is true of all media, when someone in Hollywood tries to preach they make a flop... or get a Nobel Peace Prize. The great movies that stand the test of time tell stories, they don't preach.
Second, we need to stop demonizing the media. We give them far too much power. I've heard over and over again that parents don't let their kids watch something (like, "The Simpsons") because it's "evil". It's not evil. Not even close. Sure, it may not be the best thing in the world, especially if you're not into that style of humor, but most Bible study and Sunday School materials are worse from a literature standpoint and contain less truth. The ideas and criticisms in the world today aimed at Christianity are widespread. The media may make the points more cohesive and pointed, but the critiques are the same as they were a couple thousand years ago. These issues are not hard to overcome, and the ones that are must be considered if we hope to keep the faith of the intellectual.
Third, it's time for some new stories. I've been asked before what Christians can do to turn the tide of the media and make movies that change people for the better (because movies can do that). I reply with the reminder that good movies are good stories told well. What contemporary story demonstrates the validity and power of living a Christ-like life? I don't know of a single one. Christianity must become life changing for us as Christians if we hope to change anyone with a film we make.
There is hope, though. The power of movies like "300" comes from a tale from long ago. We have tales like that as well. We could use someone with the gonads to make an incredibly awesome movie of David's Mighty Men; just, please, if you do, don't title it "30"... I've had enough of Christianity trying to take the creativity of others and just putting a Christian label on that. We're better than that.
At least, we should be.
~Luke Holzmann
Saturday, December 22, 2007
God and the "Gay Grene"
I'm not sure how the conversation got there, but somehow a discussion I had at a Christmas Party tonight turned toward personal responsibility. The questions center around why God would allow sin to enter the world if by allowing such a thing people will be damned. This reminded me of something I read in a very fascinating book recently about the emerging research that points toward the genetic influences on homosexuality.
When I read that there is significant evidence for something like "the gay gene" I was perturbed. From what I hear in the Christian community there simply isn't such a thing. They cling to the fact that there isn't any real scientific proof for such a gene. But what happens when science "proves" this, or, at least, makes a convincing argument for biological links to homosexuality? What will happen?
If I were to hazard a guess, probably a lot of what has happened with the "Young Earth/Old Earth" debate: There would be a split between those who find a way to harmonize their interpretation of Scripture so that it matches the "new evidence" or find other research that keeps their current view of Scripture viable. But for people like me, who don't really care which side is right, another question arises: What difference does it make? First, we already know that we often misinterpret Scripture and need to reconsider our positions on things; keep humble. Second, even with a biological propensity toward evil, that doesn't mean that we have to do it. I think we forget that.
It starts very early, trying to pass off our bad behavior on things: Such as the kid driving the toy truck so that it rips the wrapping off the Christmas present. "I didn't do it. The Truck did it." We quickly learn that this doesn't fly and we are responsible. So we move to the next level: "I hit Tommy because he hit me first." Even here, logical, reasonable, and just, our actions are still our responsibility. This battle between revenge and mercy, justice and forgiveness is a lifelong struggle. It becomes more complicated the older we get, and the more we learn of people's motivation. After this, we figure out that there is sympathy for external/internal forces. People have tried arguing, even flippantly, "the devil made me do it", or claim "insanity", but the most powerful would be to point the finger at God. If He made me do it, then He can't damn me.
What we forget is that we all have a tendency to sin. The fact that we feel cheated is due to the fact that all our wants are not met, nor are we perfectly content with what we have. The fact that we lie is because we fear for our wellbeing, or the wellbeing of others. We beat up our siblings because we want to protect ourselves or others. Some theologians have wrestled with the question of God's involvement in sin, but overall Christians have come to terms with this issue. So why are we so freaked out about a "Gay Gene"? This isn't new.
~Luke Holzmann
When I read that there is significant evidence for something like "the gay gene" I was perturbed. From what I hear in the Christian community there simply isn't such a thing. They cling to the fact that there isn't any real scientific proof for such a gene. But what happens when science "proves" this, or, at least, makes a convincing argument for biological links to homosexuality? What will happen?
If I were to hazard a guess, probably a lot of what has happened with the "Young Earth/Old Earth" debate: There would be a split between those who find a way to harmonize their interpretation of Scripture so that it matches the "new evidence" or find other research that keeps their current view of Scripture viable. But for people like me, who don't really care which side is right, another question arises: What difference does it make? First, we already know that we often misinterpret Scripture and need to reconsider our positions on things; keep humble. Second, even with a biological propensity toward evil, that doesn't mean that we have to do it. I think we forget that.
It starts very early, trying to pass off our bad behavior on things: Such as the kid driving the toy truck so that it rips the wrapping off the Christmas present. "I didn't do it. The Truck did it." We quickly learn that this doesn't fly and we are responsible. So we move to the next level: "I hit Tommy because he hit me first." Even here, logical, reasonable, and just, our actions are still our responsibility. This battle between revenge and mercy, justice and forgiveness is a lifelong struggle. It becomes more complicated the older we get, and the more we learn of people's motivation. After this, we figure out that there is sympathy for external/internal forces. People have tried arguing, even flippantly, "the devil made me do it", or claim "insanity", but the most powerful would be to point the finger at God. If He made me do it, then He can't damn me.
What we forget is that we all have a tendency to sin. The fact that we feel cheated is due to the fact that all our wants are not met, nor are we perfectly content with what we have. The fact that we lie is because we fear for our wellbeing, or the wellbeing of others. We beat up our siblings because we want to protect ourselves or others. Some theologians have wrestled with the question of God's involvement in sin, but overall Christians have come to terms with this issue. So why are we so freaked out about a "Gay Gene"? This isn't new.
~Luke Holzmann
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
"Brown" and "Candleflame"
I wrote another short story last night while waiting for my wife to log out of World of Warcraft. After posting it to writing.com, I realized that I hadn't posted here about my first short story I posted there: "Brown".
"Brown" is the result of my wife asking me to tell her a story. I didn't have a good one, so she pressed me to write one. My goals for "Brown", as with most of my creative writing, slowly formed as I wrote. First, I decided I would focus on color, but keep the post-apocalyptic reality very earthy. Second, I started to use common phrases in off-beat ways, as if a child were reasoning out the meanings. And third, I wanted her to have the feeling of an anime character: Seemingly normal yet somehow supernaturally "special". Writing.com is certainly not a perfect site, but I'd love to get some more reviews and ratings if you read "Brown".
Yesterday I woke up in the middle of a dream. It was a very moving dream, but it didn't make much sense. Well, it made sense in a "feeling" sense, and I knew what it "meant", but none of that would have been transfered to a listener if I'd told them about it. So, since I had time last night, I decided to write it up as a story. The short story goes a bit beyond where my dream was interrupted by day, but I think the spirit is still there. The resultant tale is "Candleflame".
"Candleflame" has dark religious overtones and the romance of self-sacrifice. This is not a tale of romantic love, nor is it a tragedy. In fact, the end is meant to be read as hopeful, in a clouded, out-of-control kind of way. There is much more to life than our common experiences tell us, and perhaps it takes an extraordinary event to force us to challenge the leaders around us who have not lead us where we need to be. I guess I'm also exploring the ideas of maturing "youth" when it is pitted against the "wisdom of age". I hope you enjoy "Candleflame". Please rate it.
Thanks!
~Luke Holzmann
"Brown" is the result of my wife asking me to tell her a story. I didn't have a good one, so she pressed me to write one. My goals for "Brown", as with most of my creative writing, slowly formed as I wrote. First, I decided I would focus on color, but keep the post-apocalyptic reality very earthy. Second, I started to use common phrases in off-beat ways, as if a child were reasoning out the meanings. And third, I wanted her to have the feeling of an anime character: Seemingly normal yet somehow supernaturally "special". Writing.com is certainly not a perfect site, but I'd love to get some more reviews and ratings if you read "Brown".
Yesterday I woke up in the middle of a dream. It was a very moving dream, but it didn't make much sense. Well, it made sense in a "feeling" sense, and I knew what it "meant", but none of that would have been transfered to a listener if I'd told them about it. So, since I had time last night, I decided to write it up as a story. The short story goes a bit beyond where my dream was interrupted by day, but I think the spirit is still there. The resultant tale is "Candleflame".
"Candleflame" has dark religious overtones and the romance of self-sacrifice. This is not a tale of romantic love, nor is it a tragedy. In fact, the end is meant to be read as hopeful, in a clouded, out-of-control kind of way. There is much more to life than our common experiences tell us, and perhaps it takes an extraordinary event to force us to challenge the leaders around us who have not lead us where we need to be. I guess I'm also exploring the ideas of maturing "youth" when it is pitted against the "wisdom of age". I hope you enjoy "Candleflame". Please rate it.
Thanks!
~Luke Holzmann
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
"Mischief. Mayhem. Soap."
Title link here.
I saw "Fight Club" back in college. This was pre-"Sin City" so it was disturbing in places. It was also profound and hinted at a path that men should walk down.
Now, in the past week, I've heard of two books that seem to push a similar line, just without quite as much violence and more contained graphic sex: "The Barbarian Way" and "No More Christian Nice Guy". I haven't read either book yet, but the ideas I've heard from them are powerful and demand that we, as men, shape up and bring the Church back to a proper understanding of our role.
A quote that Jason read to me from "No More Christian Nice Guy" went something along these lines: Since women are frequently considered more spiritual, moral, and godly than men, and since they do not display the same sexual urges that guys do, the natural conclusion is that a sex drive is sinful. This has led Christian couples to talk about becoming "closer" to one another and so avoid any mention of sex. ...One Christian woman even called her husband a "pervert" for his sexual desires. A man's sex drive is such that he will seek satisfaction elsewhere, often in places that truly are perverted.
Sex. God made it, and it should be intense. We may not need the yellow glove (didn't get it when I saw the film and don't feel like I need to understand it now), but sex is good in the proper context of marriage. I certainly feel the tendency to think that girls are not only the "fairer sex" but also the sinless one to boot. As Coughlin points out, if you printed off sections of "Song of Solomon" and showed it to many church-goers, they would decry it as pornography written by a sick mind. That's not good.
A similar message holds true for violence as well. Our Christian culture tells boys that it is wrong to punch another kid. "Violence is not the answer" stuff. Instead we hear that we are supposed to "turn the other cheek", even though Christ did not demonstrate this the way we interpret it at all. When struck at His trial, Jesus demanded that the man be held responsible for his action [John 18:23]. Not very "Christ-like" is that when He clearly told us to just let things slide?
Similar things can be said about parents who demand that boys "respect" them even if they are being tyrannical. Coughlin makes many other fantastic observations which are much better in his book than in a small blog post here.
Suffice it to say: "Fight Club" is closer to the truth than many church going Christians. Not that mischief and mayhem are good, but perhaps we need to lay off the soap a bit.
In a recent conversation with a Christian media producer, he recounted the story of a woman who wrote in berating him for putting such filthy content on his program that allowed a guy to touch a young lady's shoulder during a love song. His response was to tell her to "shut the hell up and go to hell." When he said that I smiled and knew I was in the company of a Christian man.
~Luke Holzmann
I saw "Fight Club" back in college. This was pre-"Sin City" so it was disturbing in places. It was also profound and hinted at a path that men should walk down.
Now, in the past week, I've heard of two books that seem to push a similar line, just without quite as much violence and more contained graphic sex: "The Barbarian Way" and "No More Christian Nice Guy". I haven't read either book yet, but the ideas I've heard from them are powerful and demand that we, as men, shape up and bring the Church back to a proper understanding of our role.
A quote that Jason read to me from "No More Christian Nice Guy" went something along these lines: Since women are frequently considered more spiritual, moral, and godly than men, and since they do not display the same sexual urges that guys do, the natural conclusion is that a sex drive is sinful. This has led Christian couples to talk about becoming "closer" to one another and so avoid any mention of sex. ...One Christian woman even called her husband a "pervert" for his sexual desires. A man's sex drive is such that he will seek satisfaction elsewhere, often in places that truly are perverted.
Sex. God made it, and it should be intense. We may not need the yellow glove (didn't get it when I saw the film and don't feel like I need to understand it now), but sex is good in the proper context of marriage. I certainly feel the tendency to think that girls are not only the "fairer sex" but also the sinless one to boot. As Coughlin points out, if you printed off sections of "Song of Solomon" and showed it to many church-goers, they would decry it as pornography written by a sick mind. That's not good.
A similar message holds true for violence as well. Our Christian culture tells boys that it is wrong to punch another kid. "Violence is not the answer" stuff. Instead we hear that we are supposed to "turn the other cheek", even though Christ did not demonstrate this the way we interpret it at all. When struck at His trial, Jesus demanded that the man be held responsible for his action [John 18:23]. Not very "Christ-like" is that when He clearly told us to just let things slide?
Similar things can be said about parents who demand that boys "respect" them even if they are being tyrannical. Coughlin makes many other fantastic observations which are much better in his book than in a small blog post here.
Suffice it to say: "Fight Club" is closer to the truth than many church going Christians. Not that mischief and mayhem are good, but perhaps we need to lay off the soap a bit.
In a recent conversation with a Christian media producer, he recounted the story of a woman who wrote in berating him for putting such filthy content on his program that allowed a guy to touch a young lady's shoulder during a love song. His response was to tell her to "shut the hell up and go to hell." When he said that I smiled and knew I was in the company of a Christian man.
~Luke Holzmann
Friday, November 30, 2007
Frustration
I got booted from a film set today. That's frustrating.
I was working on a Tutorial for Production-Now.com and found out that all free NLEs do not support multiple video channels. That's frustrating.
I want to help people make movies but I get kicked off sets and run into software limitations. That's frustrating.
So what should I do with my time? I should edit some past projects that have yet to be completed, but I don't want to. That's frustrating.
I've got a book to write, but it's practically in revision mode right now so there's not much I can do. That's frustrating.
I guess today, this afternoon, is just one of those moments in life where you feel completely incapable of moving forward. It's like I've landed on "Go to Jail" and have to wait until I roll doubles. That's frustrating.
More than frustration, however, is the overwhelming feeling of weariness. I feel spent. Drained. And guess what? That's frustrating.
[laughing]
~Luke Holzmann
I was working on a Tutorial for Production-Now.com and found out that all free NLEs do not support multiple video channels. That's frustrating.
I want to help people make movies but I get kicked off sets and run into software limitations. That's frustrating.
So what should I do with my time? I should edit some past projects that have yet to be completed, but I don't want to. That's frustrating.
I've got a book to write, but it's practically in revision mode right now so there's not much I can do. That's frustrating.
I guess today, this afternoon, is just one of those moments in life where you feel completely incapable of moving forward. It's like I've landed on "Go to Jail" and have to wait until I roll doubles. That's frustrating.
More than frustration, however, is the overwhelming feeling of weariness. I feel spent. Drained. And guess what? That's frustrating.
[laughing]
~Luke Holzmann
Monday, November 26, 2007
Images from Italy
[NB: The following contains images from art history that depict nudity. I will refrain from further comment at this time if you have a problem with that.]
No, this is not a post of photos I took. That will come later... maybe.
For those of you who don't know (which would be almost all of you if more people read my blog, Jason), I just got back from Italy with my family. It was a good experience. We had great weather, saw tons of amazing art, spent a ton of time walking around with the family, ate gelato (ice cream), took some great pictures, walked a ton, dealt with children, family dynamics, bedbugs, exhaustion, cramped seating, the smell of natural gas leaking from the heating units, virtual starvation, high exchange rates, and customs.
All in all, the Duomo and the David were the most impressive things we saw, but this is not a post about them. They're famous. I'm going to post about the three images that I personally liked to look at. Don't get me wrong, there are much more amazing works of art, but these were ones that stuck with me in a "warm and fuzzy" kind of way.
First, one that I only saw in postcards, bookmarks, and diary covers was Bouguereau's "First Kiss".
Perhaps I'm a sap, or maybe I'm just looking forward to having a cute little girl of my own, but I think the little girl (with moth wings, making her a... "mothgel"?) is simply adorable. This is not done by any of the "old masters", but I like it.
Second, while walking through the private corridor from the Uffizi, we buzzed past this image:
I fell in love with it right away. However, since we weren't allowed to use a flash or a tripod and there was no placard with information, it took me a while to figure out what it was--Reni's "Susanna and the Elders". After poking around a bit, I found this image, also by Reni:
I like the second better because her face is more striking, even if the colors are muted. Although, it is frustrating when an artist does multiple renditions of his own work that are so similar. Even so, in my search I found the following quote amusing as well:
"The story [of Sussana] is a complex narrative of sexual desire and visual temptation, female chastity and masculine law. During the Renaissance the dramatic focus on the moment of the woman's nakedness while bathing exposed to a lecherous conspiracy emphasized the sexual, voyeuristic and visually violating aspects of the theme, while providing a biblical and even theological justification for the painting of an erotic female nude, a genre that was emerging in this period, shifting the connotations of the female nude from its traditional iconographic association with Truth towards its modern signification of (masculine) desire and its privileged visuality" [Griselda Pollock].
Last, I really liked the following scene by Sarto:
My sister told me that she wasn't as impressed because it looked like everyone was "searching for a lost shoe" instead of mourning the death of Christ. I can see that. I'm really not impressed with the overall picture either. However, I really like how Mary Magdalene looks. In fact, I'd prefer just a poster of her, but I had to do that myself.
It is mildly interesting to me to note that the art I like contains pictures I like of girls. I like cute girls. I didn't need to fly half-way 'round the world to realize that, but it was nice to be reminded.
~Luke Holzmann
No, this is not a post of photos I took. That will come later... maybe.
For those of you who don't know (which would be almost all of you if more people read my blog, Jason), I just got back from Italy with my family. It was a good experience. We had great weather, saw tons of amazing art, spent a ton of time walking around with the family, ate gelato (ice cream), took some great pictures, walked a ton, dealt with children, family dynamics, bedbugs, exhaustion, cramped seating, the smell of natural gas leaking from the heating units, virtual starvation, high exchange rates, and customs.
All in all, the Duomo and the David were the most impressive things we saw, but this is not a post about them. They're famous. I'm going to post about the three images that I personally liked to look at. Don't get me wrong, there are much more amazing works of art, but these were ones that stuck with me in a "warm and fuzzy" kind of way.
First, one that I only saw in postcards, bookmarks, and diary covers was Bouguereau's "First Kiss".
Perhaps I'm a sap, or maybe I'm just looking forward to having a cute little girl of my own, but I think the little girl (with moth wings, making her a... "mothgel"?) is simply adorable. This is not done by any of the "old masters", but I like it.
Second, while walking through the private corridor from the Uffizi, we buzzed past this image:
I fell in love with it right away. However, since we weren't allowed to use a flash or a tripod and there was no placard with information, it took me a while to figure out what it was--Reni's "Susanna and the Elders". After poking around a bit, I found this image, also by Reni:
I like the second better because her face is more striking, even if the colors are muted. Although, it is frustrating when an artist does multiple renditions of his own work that are so similar. Even so, in my search I found the following quote amusing as well:
"The story [of Sussana] is a complex narrative of sexual desire and visual temptation, female chastity and masculine law. During the Renaissance the dramatic focus on the moment of the woman's nakedness while bathing exposed to a lecherous conspiracy emphasized the sexual, voyeuristic and visually violating aspects of the theme, while providing a biblical and even theological justification for the painting of an erotic female nude, a genre that was emerging in this period, shifting the connotations of the female nude from its traditional iconographic association with Truth towards its modern signification of (masculine) desire and its privileged visuality" [Griselda Pollock].
Last, I really liked the following scene by Sarto:
My sister told me that she wasn't as impressed because it looked like everyone was "searching for a lost shoe" instead of mourning the death of Christ. I can see that. I'm really not impressed with the overall picture either. However, I really like how Mary Magdalene looks. In fact, I'd prefer just a poster of her, but I had to do that myself.
It is mildly interesting to me to note that the art I like contains pictures I like of girls. I like cute girls. I didn't need to fly half-way 'round the world to realize that, but it was nice to be reminded.
~Luke Holzmann
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