I'm frustrated.
No, I'm more than that. But we'll leave it at that.
I realize that adopting costs a lot of money. I'm mentally prepared for $20K a kid (or more). That number is so huge I just let it go over me.
It's the little things that really get to me. Like the $20 check that I just wrote for the California Secretary of State so they will stamp my marriage license... again. Also, since we want to move this process along, we dropped the license, cover letter, and check off with FedEx on Wednesday. We paid over $30 for them to get it there by Thursday morning. We also included a return envelope which will cost another $20-$30.
So, seventy to eighty dollars for someone in the government to stamp our already officially stamped marriage license.
We'd been praying that it would get back into our hands today, or perhaps tomorrow.
I called to check up on it today and see if I could inspire a little nudge.
The girl on the phone was courteous, but assured me there was nothing she could do. And it would take two weeks for "processing."
So, I just shelled out $50-$60 to try to speed along a "process" that takes two weeks, for some reason... it must be hard for them to find a rubber stamp and ink.
I'm irate.
I tend to have less than positive thoughts and feelings toward our government as it is. This isn't helping.
~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father
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21 comments:
I totally understand what you are saying. It makes you want to beat your head against the wall.
Sorry that you can't get it to move any faster! Praying for a quick resolution!
Hope the process goes smoothly with the adoption.
I understand the being irate...still waiting on my son's birth certificate we ordered in Jan. (And again in June.)
Oh man. Not cool. Government...ugh.
It brings to mind our bible school thingy from about 2 years ago...
"Run, run, run the race
Keep, keep, keep the pace
Run the race
Keep the pace
Keep your eyes on Jesus!"
Just chant this to yourself!!! If nothing else...it'll get stuck in your head like it is in mine and distract you! My prayers are going up for you and your wife, Luke.
Julie
Thanks so much, ladies! We very much appreciate your prayers and encouragement.
~Luke
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I won't even pretend to understand, but it has to be really hard on the children especially and that's probably the number one thing making you crazy. Hope you guys have some IRL friends who have been there and done that.
I COMPLETELY understand your frustrations...
Having an already official document make "more" official is not logical, is it?
But it's the hoops we jump through ...but we can grimace while jumping!
I'd like to know how many overnight envelopes we've paid for and pre-paid for over the course of our 3 int'l adoptions...
Or...Mabe I DON'T wanna know!
Andrea
I am following your blog, I think.
:]
I've had similar issues with things with our local government, in particular our Police Department's lack of willingness to take police reports, claiming they were far too burdened with "more important" crime (yet statistically appear to be doing).
Anyway...found a very useful tool: our city councilman. Granted, we might actually have a good one...but with one email to the Police Department, he had things rolling quickly. And frankly I didn't care whether they were peeved at me--I got what I needed. (Unfortunately, we've had to do more than once).
So make some calls, write some emails, make some noise about this, because these delays are silly.
I need to write up another update, but we got the paper yesterday... but there's still issues. Imagine that! <smile>
~Luke
doesn't matter which way you go about it, adoption if full of stupid red tape, and people not doing or understanding their jobs well enough to get the balls rolling.(we are trying to adopt through foster care and it's the same, but different!)
but God knows where your child is and his timing is perfect , even with everyone else bumbling around! :)
God bless!
Luke, we really appreciated your comments at our blog about Sonlight Books and homeschooling. And we think you'll make a wonderful adoptive father.
Will is an adopted child from a family of six adopted kids (and one child by natural birth, his oldest sister). Obviously, his parents were really ambitious. But it was much easier to adopt children in the late 1960s and early 1970s, for some reason.
Difficult as it is, adoption is such a worthwhile and loving thing to do. It says something wonderful about you that you're willing to endure the needless hardships of the system in order to bring a child into a loving home.
Ugh, I totally understand. We're not even adopting, but are still waiting for INFORMATION to get a birth certificate for our biological son (we didn't get one from the hospital because we had him at home). It's so frustrating when you have to deal with the government, and I often feel like they are trying to pull every penny they can from our pockets.
Anywaaaay, thanks for the comment. I finally got around to looking at the Sonlight catalog and wished I would have much sooner! :)
Hmm, I feel your pain Luke.
This current adoption is 3 years into process...I think we are finally seeing the end. Going to be refingerprinted tomorrow and I do believe that our paperwork expires in March...praying we get a referral by then and are sitting on the couch holding them tight- by then.
Kimmie
mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted
Thanks for the continued encouragement, everyone!
Kimmie, I can't even imagine what you're going through. Three years? Ugh. May that be resolved quickly!
~Luke
I just found your blog, Luke. First of all, congratulations on your impending adoption! How exciting! Next, let me say that I will be praying that your adoption process becomes smoother, more expedient and less co$tly.
I can't wait to hear the update my friend. I am so excited for you two. I wish the government would revamp the adoption process. It should not be so hard for families to share their love, life, and home with a worthy child.
I'll be praying for you!
Luke,
Just read your post on the Heart of the Matter and wanted to let you know you have been in my prayers lately. I haven't been there (through adopting), but know many who have trudged through the adoption process. So many ups and downs.
I'll be praying for that last minute scramble. And, if it doesn't happen then, we'll keep praying for soon.
~Erin
when my brother went to get his fingerprints, things had gotten wacky and his wife didn't have an appt. so he asked if she could come in, they told him they were to slammed there was no way to fit her in. He proceeded to wait, alone, with not one other person in the joint, while watching the 2 guys behind the counter move in slow motion to do nothing. No exaggeration. He said it was so absurd he thought he was on one of those 'gotcha' TV shows or something.
But having travelled I have to say, it is worse anywhere else I have been.
we are going to our first adoption meeting tomorrow!
This is why we have considered and turned down the idea of adoption. It scares the heck out of me to think that the State has some say in who we are and what our family does.
Then again, they do anyhow, don't they? The moment you sign a marriage license, you go into contract with the state and they've a vested interest in your family... which is why social services and Friend of the Court are in existance - to assert the governments involvement in our families.
Nice to meet a thinkerly guy, btw.
I hate having to wait on the government or should we say the people who hold all the red tape.
Hope it moves faster for you!
My husband had to wait almost 6 mo once for something they had lost.
Nice
With two other blogs going, I get behind on this one. Sorry.
That doesn't mean I don't appreciate your comments! I love them, and they really cheer me up when I get a chance to really go through them. Thank you all for the encouragement and support.
~Luke
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