Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Antidotal Anecdotes

One of my friends just got married.

Well, he's not really my friend in the traditional sense (he doesn't even know who I am), but I've been following his blog for a while now and feel like I know him. I respect him quite a bit, and I would hope that if we traveled in the same circles he would be willing to call me a friend as well.

I doubt we'd ever really be buddies, but I digress.



As he himself wrote: "It’s been a very long engagement." But now he's hitched and "just trying to get used to the ring on my finger. And saying husband."

I've never really considered this question before: But will he be a better husband than I? Will he treat his spouse better than I? Will they have better sex than I?

Those aren't normal questions--or maybe they are, I guess I don't really know--but I'm asking them this time. Not because I'm really curious about the intimate affairs of my friend, or how those reflect on me, except for one very important detail:

His husband.

See, I'm not a perfect husband. In fact, I'd be willing to reveal that I'm not even a particularly good one. So what can I say to my homosexual friend and his husband?

If they're a better couple than Brittany and I, what does that say about the transforming power of Christ? Where does that put me in the eternal perspective? And what of other Christians, those myriad of others who, as is stated in the comments to his blog, "use marriage as a crutch to keep their relationship going", or worse, divorce?

What can I say to him?

What can I say to my homosexual uncle?

Thus far I've figured out: "Hi." And then I give him a hug.

Sure, Focus on the Family has some good arguments against same-sex unions (especially the argument of love), but I really don't think that's going to help anything here. I certainly don't think my friend would buy it.

So what would Jesus say to my friend?

I honestly don't know. And that's a tad bit frustrating.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father