Thursday, July 02, 2009

I Called the Police

I'd never done that before, but yesterday events forced my hand.

Granted, it wasn't 911. I used the local number. But Still. I called the police. Why? Because we've been robbed twice over the past two weeks.

Milk thieves.

We currently get our milk delivered on Wednesday mornings, around 1am, I think. And sometime between then and 6:30 when I go to get it, someone takes a gallon. And since we get the growth hormone free whole milk, that amounts to about $5. Which sounded kinda lame when the officer who came by asked how much the total value of the milk was. "About $10," I told him.

So he's going to have a night patrol car in our area for a while.

Not that that is going to actually catch the thief. It may scare him off though, which means we'd get our milk again.

But to actually catch a thief we need something more. Thus, our plotting. Hiding behind the front door with a fully charged Digital SLR, ready to throw open the front screen to grab a snapshot of the criminal... giving us a shot of their back, or, even if we could get their face there's no way we could ID them. So, we must throw open then door and take them down--which means we'll need to get some police style zip ties...

Seriously. We've spent an hour this evening plotting.

Because, you know, we gotta protect the milk.

And if we can stop someone from further progressing in a life of crime, that's good too.

 ~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father


Megan said...

Is it Farmcrest? I miss Farmcrest milk delivery from Colorado. And if someone stole my milk I'd be blazing mad too.

Hope you catch 'em!

Kristen & Cliff said...

I would have called too. Make sure you post an update!

Mrs. C said...

If you have motion-activated lights near your porch that might help. But it will cost you more than $10.

It's the principle of the matter. Some guy coming on your property and stealing your stuff? Rrr.

When we lived in Australia, we had milk thieves, too. They were large black birds. They would poke a hole in the foil on top of the milk jug and drink juuuust the creamy bit on top. You didn't want the rest after that.

We used a metal office trash can and the milkman would turn it upside down over the jars. It worked! :]

Ariana said...

I'd be pretty upset if someone stole our milk. Milk is expensive!
$5 can be a shirt for my child, an entire meal for my family, a half pack of diapers, etc..

Anonymous said...

The fact that it happens regularly means it's probably a neighbor or something.

And you never know, they might begin by stealing thing you know, they become a politician and lead a life of total and complete immorality.

Meg_L said...

You get MILK Delivered? Someone still does that? Wow.

Ann said...

Okay, I'm with Meg_L - I just think it's cool that you get milk delivered!

Seriously, though, I would have called the police too!

mary grace said...

I say you just skip the whole thing and buy a cow. Dare them to steal that.

Theresa in WV said...

Here's an idea.
Wait up a few nights for the milk to be delivered. Bring it in and replace it with another white liquid, e.g. milk of magnesia. Let them pour that on their cereal!

~Theresa from SL

~ Angi :) said...

Egads, Luke! What happened to the slew of posts your wrote from say, oh . . . end of March to July 2? I knew you were taking a breather . . . but did you have to take away essential oxygen from the blogosphere???! LOL

(Sorry 'bout yer milk. What a bummer. Maybe it's a Mom trying to care for her hungry kiddos???) {chuckling}

Lady Jess said...

lol! What people do these days! Maybe you should tell the thief to drink of the living water and he won't be thirsty anymore o_O!

Heather the Mama Duk said...

I'm still amazed about the milk delivery thing.

Katie said...

Our neighbors have a litte video camera that watches their front door. They only use it when on vacation (and they can check it from the internet!)

I would be upset too! We had a large freezer taken from our porch. We were cleaning it out before we put it in the garage . . . someone must have been watching, because I was only gone for 1 hour and, when I got home, the freezer was gone!

Grateful for Grace said...

So.... have you busted them?

Kimmie said...

Imagining a wild pack of feral cats, hiding in the bushes waiting for the milkman to pull out. (can you say milkman or is that not the right terminology these days?)

Very cool that you get milk. I'd love we go through at least 5 gallons a I am always making a run. But I'd never stoop to taking yours. wink. wink.

Please let us know how it turns out. *Be careful, a glass milk jar might be used as a weapon.

The police are probably excited for the change of criminal activity...can hear them saying,"Yup, I got the beat of the milk thief. I'm gonna bring a bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup and certainly we will have our *man.*'


mama to 7
one homemade and 6 adopted

Sweet Serendipity said...

Reminds me of my dad hiding under our living room coffee table in the dark one night so he could peer out the front window and catch whoever kept egging our house, lol.

But milk is a serious matter. I hope they are doing something useful with it. Like feeding a child. You never know what desperation times like these may cause.

Cotton Blossom said...

That is HILARIOUS!(Sorry, but it is.) And the funny!

Matt @ The Church of No People said...

Wow, I didn't know anyone still delivered milk! Well at least your thieves will have strong bones and healthy teeth :)

Kate said...

How exciting. Posting the picture?

Grateful for Grace said...

I think you should combine Theresa and Angi and Lady Jess's ideas. Put something else in (buttermilk?) And a note inside the bottle (laminated and rolled up of course) about drinking from the Living Water so as not to thirst again coupled with Exodus 20 on not stealing. With a P.S. "If you are mother trying to feed her starving babies, please come forward so we can help you with joy."

Lady Jess said...

That would be amazing, Grateful for Grace! Wouldn't that be a shocker to them! "Wow, their gonna HELP me??" Yeah, that would be very cool.

Billy Coffey said...

I seriously did not know people still had milk delivered. I would have called the cops, too. If milk gets any more expensive, a crime like that will be considered grand larceny.

Sweet reference for To Catch a Thief, too.

Angie @ Many Little Blessings said...

Isn't it crazy what people will do?

I don't blame you for being upset though -- sometimes I think it is just more upsetting to know that someone is stealing from you. It's just rotten!

Sisterlisa said...

They steal milk? Well they must be desperate for nutrition. I have a idea to toss out there at ya. Get a one month gift certificate to the milk company for the thief. Write them a letter and let them know that if they are in need to just knock next time. ;O) Maybe it will be a seed planted for God's glory.

Must be some really good milk!

Morgan said...

Did you ever catch them?