Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Still Waiting on Kyrgyzstan

So, it's been over a month and a half since my last adoption update.

We have heard nothing in all that time.

For those of you patient enough to keep offering an occasional prayer for us, our children, and their country of origin, we still greatly appreciate it.

Perpetual prayers tend to bother me because I begin to feel like they are rote and ineffectual.

And waiting has been hard. I know that I'm adopting but it's something that I'm now passively doing. I don't feel like I'm involved in the process. I'm not excited. This whole thing seems more like an historical fact than a present reality.

I'm not feeling so great emotionally at the moment, so I don't really have anything else to say right now. It hasn't been the best day in my life.

Thank you all for your love, support and prayers.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father


mary grace said...

How well I know the limbo of waiting. We waited (and waited, and waited) for Oliver's placement far longer than anyone--even our agency--expected. It's pretty unusual for the foster-adopt route to take longer than say, two months, for placement. We were on month 8 by the time that we got the call about Oliver. All told, our journey to Oliver was 592 days from first paperwork to placement. Not that I was counting or anything ... (

Andrea said...

Luke -

I swear that being a 'Waiting Adoptive Parent' is truly one of the hardest parenting jobs ever.

It's SO MUCH more difficult than being physically pregnant.

At least then, you get ultrasounds, cute foot kicks from the belly, Mommy-cravings, etc.

Waiting to adopt???

It's a vacuum of impatience, love, confusion, and extreme frustration.

Fight the good fight...

Start a grand project for the kids to come home too...

A new clubhouse outside? A music room? A lifebook to be filled in at a later date? Start recording yourself and your wife, via videotape, once/week telling your children your thoughts, dreams, frustrations....

You can do this....


onfire in PNG said...

I probably shouldn't even be saying anything here seeing how I have dealt with secondary infertility for over a decade now and our attempt at adoption ended in disaster ... and the waiting game has begun again for us, anew, as we now try to figure out exactly what happened that we were missionaries and now we aren't. a pattern of thought can easily develop that isn't entirely helpful to anyone if we aren't careful. I am praying for success, and speed. Emotions are fickle. I never trust them.

Polly & Steve said...

God is Love, hang in there it will be better. That is why we pray "Thy will be done". And that is the hardest thing to pray and mean it. There is a purpose for everything and a lesson in patience is the hardest! It took a really long time for us, and then the final papers were messed up and took even longer. Many Hugs to you and your wife.

theheartofachild said...

A verse to claim during the wait:

Habbakuk 2: 2-3

The LORD's Answer
2 Then the LORD replied:
"Write down the revelation
and make it plain on tablets
so that a herald [b] may run with it.
3 For the revelation awaits an appointed time;
it speaks of the end
and will not prove false.
Though it linger, wait for it;
it [c] will certainly come and will not delay."

You have written it down (Paperwork!!!) and the Lord is sending His angels before you to make the way! I will pray for you during the wait!

Mrs. C said...

Oo, I like that, heartofachild.

Yep, I never see "adoption tickers" on expectant adoptive parent blogs. It's good to hear from you on the process and how things are going for you, though.

You can up your goal on how much of their language to learn before you receive your children? Do you have a specific lesson to try to get to or something? Furniture to shop for? I don't know. I guess having something to do that gets you more prepared has to be good?

5intow said...

Just wanted to let you know I am praying for you guys. I haven't been there, so I can't relate, but I do ache for you. You are on my list of "expectant parents" that I pray for daily.

Praying tomorrow is a better day, in many ways . . .

Big Red Driver said...

Waiting is the worst! Praying with you.

Bethany Hudson said...

I'm sorry things are so hard right now with the adoption. I can relate on some level. My father is currently waiting for his fiance's visa to allow her and her son to come here from Russia. Whenever I ask him about the wedding, he just gets this frustrated look on his face and says, "All I care about is the visa!" It's hard to get excited about something when red tape is holding everything up. I really do hope that things come through soon for your family.

Kimmie said...

Oh Luke...I am sorry. I didn't realize that Kyrgyzstan had closed...was this recent. I will up my prayers for movement -An OPEN door in...and a quick way out for your children. May God give you wisdom and revelation, as you wait on Him. Unfortunately, I have become a semi-expert on adoption waiting, something I am not particularly fond of.

Give your wife a hug and tell her I am praying for you guys.

mama to 6
one homemade and 5 adopted

Grateful for Grace said...

Oh, how frustrating.

I've prayed for you, your wife, your children, and Kyrgyzstan.

Grateful for Grace said...

Luke, It touched me so much to SEE the prayer, so I'm returning the gift.

Dear Father, I thank you for your Son. I thank you that He flung the gates open wide for us to approach the throne with every prayer. Seeking grace and mercy. Today, I espeically thank you for the model of adoption you have given us. I seek grace, mercy and favor for Luke, his wife, his children and Kyrgyzstan. Please, Lord, give Luke and his wife peace in the waiting. Give them special tasks to occupy them as they wait for the children you are sending them. Mature them in ways that only the waiting could bring. Give their children grace and mercy as they wait for their parents. Protect their hearts and their bodies. Draw them to you. Begin a story with them. Have that story end in the arms of their new parents. Lastly, Giver of All Good Gifts... Mover of Mountains, open Kyrgyzstan. Let the river of life flow through it saving children all over.

In Jesus' Precious Name,

Luke said...

Thank you.

I have no other words but that.

There is a glimmer of hope, which I almost don't dare to consider.

Your continued prayers for us and our children are very much appreciated, as there are times I don't even feel like I can pray.


Christine said...

Hope you hear something soon. We too are adopting right now and are in a sort of limbo stage. Hang in there!

Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

I just stumbled upon your blog today and wanted to let you know I prayed for you. I cannot even begin to understand the depth of frustration you must be facing, but It has to help to know people care and are praying.

I enjoyed perusing your blog. Good stuff!

Luke said...

Thank you both, Christine and Wendi!