Monday, June 30, 2008

A Farwell to Arms

I canceled my WoW subscription today.

''bout time,' some of you may be thinking. ...actually, my guess is that you don't think about that at all. And that's okay. But I do.

Due to our need for Health Insurance, I took a new job. The job is pretty cool, but now I devote twice as much time to it than I was working before. That's a pretty big change in lifestyle. My income has also changed. But I didn't know by how much, so I was little excite/apprehensive when I opened my check today.

I was elated.

'Wow,' I thought, 'I'm making about $200 a week more now! Sweet, I'll be able to pay for the kids to have food when they come.'

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks dropped from the Empire State Building with spikes laden with poison from a brown recluse:

I get paid every two weeks now.

Yep, I just took a $320 a month pay cut.

I cried.

I was so happy for a minute. Life was great.

I'm tearing up again just writing this.

Elation to despair in less than half a second.

My wife is right: This will all work out. We'll find a way to slash our already tight budget. We'll make it.

And we will. As someone recently read: Don't confuse your Provider with your employer. How true. How painfully, horribly true.

I guess it was time to update my certification in trust.

~Luke Holzmann
Filmmaker, Writer, Expectant Father


Ariana said...

I wish I were more optimistic and faithful when things seem to go awry. My first impulse is always to be pessimistic and lose faith- horrible I know.

Marsha Marsha Marsha said...

I ran across this in my readings the other day- God never touches the heart with a trial without intending to bring upon it some greater gift, some tenderer benediction.

While I don't know why you are receiving a paycut when you are trying to bring your family together, I do know that we can place our trust in God's faithfulness, wisdom and grace. He'll see you through all the details, big and small.

Luke said...

Since I wrote this post I have been given two raises, so God has proven Himself faithful yet again!

Thanks so much for your encouragement and support!